


I’m falling but it feels like I’m flying

by harlequin421



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Events out of Order, Falling In Love, Fluff, Lukas being Sappy, M/M, Philip being completely Gone for Lukas, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: Lukas makes him feel like he’s falling and flying at the same time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> events are all out of order, because those are my favorite kind of fics to write :D, and I have one at least for all my ships, so here’s the one for philkas, hope you enjoy it...i wrote this while listening to that philkas playlist on repeat, so sorry????  
> for darling dara, always <3

Philip falls in love somewhere between the second time that they hang out together, and the first time that they go to the city.

The first because it’s the first time that Lukas smiles at _him_ , wide and bright, pulling off his helmet, and giving Philip an excited look.

“That was so sick!” He leans in close to Philip eyes bright. “You did get that right?”

Philip holds up his phone, and Lukas plucks the phone from his hands.

“Sweet,” he says. “We’ve got to post this to my channel.”

Philip still hasn’t said anything, still stunned by that smile.

He feels something clench in the pit of his stomach, and lets out an uneasy breath.

Lukas oblivious to everything, logs into his channel and posts the video through Philip’s phone before handing it back.

He seems to realize that Philip hasn’t said anything, and gives him a concerned look.

“You okay?”

Philip snaps out of it, and tries to give Lukas a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, fine, sorry. It was pretty…um, sick.”

Lukas smiles again, and wraps an arm around Philip’s shoulders tugging him along. “Come on, we’ve got a couple more hours of daylight and there’s this sweet trail I want to try out.”

The second because it’s the first time that Lukas kisses him in public.

There’s something so earnest and sweet about it.

Lukas is willing to try, as long as they weren’t anywhere near Tivoli, and well, Philip is willing to deal with it.

Lukas tells him, “Let’s go,” and tugs him along.

They go back towards his bike, and Philip thinks they’re going back to Tivoli already, but, Lukas takes a different route on the way back.

Philip holds on, fingers laced together tightly across Lukas’ stomach as he made sudden turns and speeds up as they start to go at an incline.

Finally, Lukas stops the bike and pats Philip’s hands, clenched against his shirt.

“We’re here.”

Philip lets out a breath and lets go of Lukas, pulling the helmet off and getting off the bike.

They’re on top of a small hill, and you can see the city from afar, but what’s taking up most of the view are the stars.

Philip’s fingers itch for his camera.

He looks over at Lukas who is watching him, grinning, leaning against his helmet, balanced on the handlebars of his bike.

“So?”

“So?” Philip asks back walking to stand in front of Lukas.

“What do you think?”

Philip looks around the secluded area; he knows exactly what this place is good spot for.

“How do you know about this place?”

Lukas shrugs. “My dad used to bring my mom here, now tell me what do you think?”

Philip’s mouth quirks into a smile, and he licks his lips before leaning even closer to him.

“It’s downright romantic. Who knew you had it in you?”

Lukas laughs, and grabs him, hands wrapped around his throat, and gives him a kiss, sweet and tender.

It makes Philip’s knees melt, and he has to hold on or fall to the floor.

Lukas pulls back slowly, like always, almost reluctantly, and then presses their mouths together again, once, twice, three times, before he actually pulls back.

He smiles at Philip, mouth red and swollen. “That’s four things you’ve gotten out of me today.”

“Well,” Philip says leaning into the bike, and wrapping his arms around Lukas’ shoulders. “You can ask me anything. I’ll tell you anything you want.”

“Do you like me?”

Philip snorts, and laughs, “What kind of question is that?”

“One that needs an answer,” Lukas says and he looks so serious about it.

“Of course,” Philip says brow furrowed. He lets go of Lukas walking around the bike, and grabbing him again, making him look him in the eyes. “Of course I like you. Do you like me?”

Lukas doesn’t answer. He leans in and presses their mouths together again.

Philip closes his eyes and slides his fingers into Lukas’ hair tilting his head and changing the angle of the kiss. Lukas nips against his mouth, before pulling back and pressing their foreheads together hard.

“Yeah, you know I like you.”

 

*

 

The first time Lukas makes him feel like he’s flying, they’ve been hanging out for about four weeks.

Lukas doesn’t even warn him before he’s taking them down the steep incline that’ll lead them to the place where Lukas wants to shoot next.

Philip’s arms wrap tight around him, hands pressed against his ribs. He feels the air rushing past his helmet, slipping through the cracks, cooling the heated skin. His blood is pounding through his veins, hammering in his throat.

He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. The scenery passes by them, and Philip feels the moment slow as though it was happening in slow motion.

He could feel every point where he was pressed up against Lukas’ body, warm against his. Lukas was leaned forward, building the momentum, and Philip was plastered against him by his tight hold around his waist.

The adrenaline rushed through his veins, much more than just the danger of the moment. His hands were still tight around Lukas but he let out a yell of joy, and Lukas echoed him moments later.

Philip feels like if he is flying.

Lukas shouts, “Are you ready?”

And before Philip can say anything they’re actually in the air, and Philip’s heart jumps in his throat, and his fingers clutch against Lukas’ t-shirt, and he laughs, exhilarated and punch drunk.

They land on the ground with a bounce, and Lukas stops the bike at a sharp angle, throwing up dust everywhere, but Philip is getting off the bike feeling restless with energy.

Lukas does the same, taking off his helmet and smiling wide and bright at Philip.

Philip pulls off his own helmet, and just looks at Lukas grinning madly. “That was awesome.”

Lukas’ grin widens and he leans closer, towering over Philip which is something that not many people can do.

“It was, wasn’t it?”

Philip nods, and his eyes dart down to Lukas’ mouth.

This isn’t the first time that he’s ever wanted to kiss him, but it’s the first time it hurts deep in his belly with want to kiss him.

Lukas licks his lips, and physically moves closer, which to Philip was a clear a sign as any. But before anything could happen, Lukas is pulling back, smile still in place, but Philip knew that it was fake, unlike the previous one.

“I’m gonna go again, so pay attention,” he turns to his bike, and gets on.

Philip watches as he drives back up to the top of the incline.

He takes a deep breath willing his heartbeat to stop racing, then pulls his phone out.

 

*

 

The first time Lukas makes him feel as though he’s falling with nothing to break his fall is when he asks him to film him and Rose having sex.

Philip has to swallow the bile in his throat, and he shakes his head rapidly, “No, of course not. I’ll do a lot of things for you, but not that.”

“Come on,” Lukas says stepping in close again, and making Philip feel as though he’s lost his sense of equilibrium. “It’ll get everyone to talk about something else, and we can keep hanging out.”

“You mean sneaking around behind your girlfriend’s back?”

Lukas bites his lip, and then turns around, running his hands through his hair, before turning back around. He grabs Philip around his shoulders and pulls him in close.

His hands slide around his throat, and up behind his ears before he’s tipping Philip’s head back and kissing him, harsh and demanding. He presses back, until Philip is stumbling backwards closer to the edge of the roof. Lukas’ kiss doesn’t change in intensity as he _devours_ Philip’s mouth.

It tastes like goodbye.

Philip’s arms wrap around him fingers clenching in his hair, trying to keep him close, but Lukas pulls away from the kiss once he’s taken what he wants, and untangles himself from Philip’s hold grabbing his hands out of Lukas’ hair and squeezing his wrists tightly.

Philip’s fingers clench in the air, and he pants harshly.

Lukas’ eyes his mouth and he licks his lips before he lets Philip go, and takes several steps back.

“That’s the last time,” he says, and it sounds like a death sentence.

“Last time?” Philip asks confused, and still out of it from the kiss.

“That’s the last time I’m going to kiss you,” he looks at Philip. “The next time we kiss, it’ll be because you want it.”

“What are you talking about?” Philip asks feeling a lot more confused.

“I’m not going to kiss you again. We can go back to being friends.” And then he turns a pleading look on Philip. “But you’ve got to do this for me.”

Philip feels the hysterical bubble of laughter in his throat.

“That’s what you really want, for me to film you having sex with someone else, and for us to go back to being friends? After everything that's happened?”

“No,” Lukas says stepping closer. “I mean, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t have anyone talking about me and you.”

“Because you’re ashamed of hanging out with me? And you still want us to be friends?”

“It’s not that,” Lukas says stepping even closer. “Stop putting words in my mouth.”

He looks at Philip straight in the eyes, and Philip cannot look away.

“Of course I don’t want us to just be friends. And everything that happened, that’s ever happened between us matters, okay,” he reaches out and brushes against Philip’s hair, hand just barely touching his temple and tracing down his jaw.

Philip’s eyes close.

“It matters too much, and I don’t want them talking about us because it’ll get back to my dad. It’s not about you, okay? You’re the only thing in this whole mess that feels right.”

Philip opens his eyes, and Lukas is standing way too close, and his eyes are wide and pleading.

“Okay,” Philip breathes. “I’ll do it.”

Lukas nods, and dips his head as though he was going to kiss him. Philip’s head tips back mouth parted, but Lukas just steps back shaking his head.

“After school today.”

And with those parting words he turns around and leaves Philip standing alone, and feeling like he just jumped out of an airplane without a parachute.

 

*

 

Lukas makes Philip feel like he’s falling and flying at the same time when they kiss for the first time.

Falling when he pushes him away. Philip can feel the hot sting of humiliation, and he tries to come up with a reason to just leave when Lukas immediately doesn’t send him packing.

Flying when he pulls him back. Pulls Philip down, and kisses him, awkward but sure, mouths pressed together hard.

Philip can’t help the swoop in his stomach that feels almost like when Lukas had dropped them down that incline without so much as a warning.

It feels exhilarating, and terrifying, and in that moment he knows that Lukas is going to ruin him utterly for every other boy.

 

*

 

Philip’s in love and it more than just hurts in his stomach. He feels like he’s being kicked over and over in the heart, and his head is pounding, and he knows that that might all just be the hangover, but he still blames Lukas for all of it.

He rushes to the bathroom, falling and cracking his knees on the tile before he’s throwing up.

It feels like crashing as the memories pile together and invade his head.

Lukas’ lies during dinner. Lukas pushing him away at the party. Lukas helping him up. Lukas balancing him on his bike. Lukas dragging him to the porch. Lukas’ apology.

He throws up again, and feels someone’s hand on his back rubbing.

He doesn’t have to look up to know that it’s Gabe.

He wants to move away from the touch, but he needs the comfort right now.

“That’s it,” Gabe’s saying. “You’ll feel better once you get it all out and then take this remedy I made you. It’s one of my specialties.”

He says all of this like it’s some secret between them, but Philip’s head and heart and stomach hurt. All he can think about is how Gabe didn’t believe him, how nobody did.

How he has nobody.

He stands up and shakes his head.

“I’m just going to take a shower,” he says turning away from Gabe.

Gabe gets the point and he can hear him sighing softly before he leaves closing the door behind himself.

Philip just turns the water as hot as it can go, and after taking off his clothes, steps under the stream letting the water scorch him clean.

 

*

 

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to drink with Lukas after being caught drinking with Lukas earlier that day, but Lukas had looked so sad, and so spooked that Philip had to do something to fix it.

He’s pretty drunk when he stands on top of the great big pile of rocks in the middle of the clearing they found themselves at.

Lukas is laughing as he’s telling Philip to get down from his spot lying back on the scratchy wool blanket he’d brought with him when Philip had texted him that he had a bottle that he was willing to share.

Philip just raises his hands on either side of himself and yells, “I’m king of the world.”

Lukas finds that hilarious, and Philip smiles, before he wobbles a bit, and almost falls over.

“Be careful,” Lukas says somewhere between sarcastic and worried.

Philip rolls his eyes and jumps down from what’s only like three feet. He lands more or less gracefully, bowing when Lukas claps sarcastically.

He staggers over to the blanket and lies back down next to Lukas. They look up at the stars, and they're so bright out in the middle of nowhere without much light pollution it's downright romantic.

“Sap,” Philip mutters under his breath.

Lukas pushes him, and Philip giggles turning on his side.

Lukas’ hands pull him back to his back, and he looks up as Lukas leans over him.

“Hey,” he says in a low voice. “I kissed you because I wanted to.”

And before Philip can give him a response to that, Lukas is leaning down and kissing him.

His lips tastes like the cheap whiskey they’d been drinking, and Philip leans up, hands tangling in the collar of Lukas’ jacket pulling him in closer.

Lukas pulls back a little, and presses their foreheads together eyes closed.

“You make me feel like I’m flying,” Philip confesses voice low.

Lukas’ eyes open wide, and then he’s kissing Philip again eagerly, mouth open, tongue sliding across Philip’s lips, willing them open.

Philip opens his mouth changing the angle of the kiss, and hitching one of his legs up, tugging Lukas closer on top of him.

Lukas falls into the space between Philip’s thighs, and his hands on either side of Philip’s head.

He pulls back and looks at Philip, eyes wide and focused, but glazed over, pupils blown wide.

Philip’s fingers slide up into his hair, digging in, and tugging lightly.

Lukas’ eyes roll into the back of his head.

He leans down and presses a kiss to Philip’s chin, trailing his lips up Philip’s jaw, and pressing kisses up the skin behind his ear.

Philip gasps, and hitches his thighs on either side of Lukas’ hips tilting his head to the side as Lukas opens his mouth and starts sucking on that spot.

“You’re gonna leave a mark,” Philip pants, and Lukas sucks one more time, hard and permanent before he pulls away, and presses his lips to the corner of Philip’s mouth.

Philip turns his head and slides his mouth across Lukas’.

Lukas kisses him slow, and steady, and their lips part with unreasonably loud sucking noises, and Philip would be embarrassed if they didn’t have Lukas kissing him deeper, pressing into him harder.

Then he pulls back pressing their foreheads together again, panting against Philip’s mouth.

Philip strains up for more kisses, and manages a few before Lukas is saying, “Wait, wait, wait.”

Philip pulls back lying back against the blanket and looks up at Lukas, “What is it?”

“I just,” he shakes his head and flushes, and it could just be the alcohol, but Lukas keeps talking. “I don’t want the first time to be out in the woods in the middle of nowhere.”

He pulls back, kneeling in between Philip’s knees.

Philip sits up, leaning back on his hands and grins at Lukas. “Sap,” he tells him smiling.

Lukas pushes him back, and Philip falls on his back giggling.

“Shut up,” Lukas says but there’s a smile in his voice.

Philip raises an eyebrow, “Make me.”

Lukas kisses him until the only sounds Philip is making are low moans in the back of his throat.

He pulls back again, and just looks at Philip for a long second, before he’s getting off of him and sprawling on his back next to him.

Philip catches his breath as he looks up at the stars feeling like he's floating.

 

*

 

Lukas knocks loudly against Philip’s window.

Philip hurriedly goes to open it because Helen and Gabe are sleeping, and it’s two in the morning and he should be sleeping, so should Lukas.

But instead, Lukas is here at his window, and Philip is wide awake listening to music.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were never talking to me again because I threw away the pills.”

Lukas waves his hand in the air as though to forget about the words that Philip just said, and hits his hand against the window sill.

“I’m not here about that,” his words slur, and not a regular I’m drunk and can barely talk slur, but more like I mixed pills with alcohol.

Philip frowns feeling like the bottom of his stomach just dropped out.

“What did you take?”

“Rose gave me,” he starts, but then shakes his head. “No, I’m not here about that either.”

“Can you even remember what you’re here to talk about?” Philip asks sarcastically mean.

Lukas blinks, and raises a finger in the air, and then giggles, and falls on the grass.

Philip looks over his windowsill down to where Lukas is still giggling leaning against the side of the house.

Philip expels a harsh breath and climbs out through the window, landing next to Lukas. He crouches down next to him, and Lukas looks up at him a wide loopy smile on his face. His eyes are bloodshot and out of focus.

“What did you take?” Philip asks again this time propping Lukas more securely against the side of the house.

Lukas ignores him, and his hand smacks against Philip’s face a little too hard to be a caress as his fingers slide down roughly.

“You’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” Lukas breathes.

Philip clenches his jaw. “Tell me that when you’re sober and I’ll believe you.”

Lukas frowns, “I’m telling you the truth.”

“Of course you are, because you’re high and drunk and probably feel really good right now, right? Good for you, but I’m not dealing with this. You need to go home.”

Philip goes to crawl back in through his window, but Lukas stops him, hand wrapped around his ankle.

“I don’t want to go back home,” he whispers. “Please let me stay here with you.”

Philip expels another harsh breath.

He helps Lukas into his bedroom.

Lukas makes so much noise that Philip is afraid that Helen and Gabe will wake up, but neither of them come down the stairs.

He practically throws Lukas on his bed, and watches as Lukas kicks off his shoes, and shrugs out of his jacket before getting tangled up in Philip’s sheets.

Philip sighs, and would leave the room to sleep in the living room, but that would cause too many questions.

He slides into the bed next to Lukas, and Lukas drapes himself over Philip immediately.

Philip turns his head away, and Lukas’ lips land on his jaw.

“You said you weren’t going to kiss me again until I kissed you first,” Philip whispers.

Lukas nods his head, and presses his forehead hard against Philip’s temple, fingers playing with the hem of Philip’s t-shirt. “I miss your mouth,” he whispers breath hot against Philip’s neck.

Philip shuts his eyes tight.

“You can’t do this again,” he whispers back knowing that Lukas might not even remember anything that he’s saying. “You can’t come here when you’re high, and expect me to bring you down. It’s not fair.”

“That’s not what I want,” Lukas says back. “All I want is to lie here with you, okay? Just sleep, no dreams.”

His voice trails off, and he seems to slump even heavier against Philip.

Philip knows that he just passed out, and he lets out the sob that’s been building up in his throat.

He turns his head back to Lukas’, and presses their foreheads together. “Why do you have to do this to me?”

Philip falls asleep with tears in his eyes, and Lukas wrapped all around him.

When he wakes up, Lukas is gone as though he was never there.

 

*

 

Philip stands up when the sky starts darkening, and looks down to where Lukas is still leaning back against the tree, looking up at him.

“It’s getting dark,” Philip says.

Lukas just stands up, and steps in close effectively trapping Philip against the tree.

“I don’t care,” Lukas says right before he kisses him again.

Philip’s hands move automatically to Lukas’ jaw tipping his head down, and angling the kiss so that their mouths fit better.

It still feels like relief to be kissing Lukas again, especially after spending weeks thinking he was never going to get to do it again.

It sends everything that he’s feeling sweeping through his entire body and it makes him feel light, and floaty, and almost as though he can fly.

Lukas reaches up and takes Philip’s hands out of his hair. He tangles their fingers together and traps Philip’s hands above his head.

The move is actually smooth for once, and Philip has to pull back to raise an eyebrow at it.

Lukas gives him a grin. “Now I’ve got you captive. You can’t go anywhere.”

Philip tilts his head and gives him a flirty smile, “You can’t trap the willing.”

Lukas’ grin widens and he leans down and kisses Philip again. This time the kiss is soft and gentle, and borderline chaste and it takes all of Philip’s breath away.

Lukas pulls back pressing their foreheads together and takes in a deep breath as though preparing himself to say something.

“I am sorry you know.”

Which was not what Philip was expecting.

“You already apologized,” Philip starts feeling a little confused. “You don’t have to do it again.”

“But I do,” Lukas says, and he slides his fingers against Philip’s and presses so close that Philip can feel him everywhere, breath warm on his face.

“I’m sorry, for everything I’ve said, everything I’ve done. I’m just,” he presses his forehead harder against Philip’s. “So sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Philip says breathlessly and tips his head back to kiss Lukas.

Lukas latches on to the kiss with the same intensity as he’d done when Philip had kissed him first, like he’d been waiting, _wanting_ for so long, and now, finally, finally, _finally_.

Philip moans against his mouth and tries to get his hands out of Lukas’ hold to no avail.

Lukas just kisses him and kisses him, over and over, mouths separating and pressing together.

Philip doesn’t know for how long they kiss this time, but by the time Lukas pulls away, and Philip’s eyes open dazedly, night has mostly fallen and his knees feel like jelly.

Lukas is looking at him, and his hands let go of Philip’s wrists and Philip’s arm drop to his side heavily as though Lukas’ hold was the only thing keeping them up.

Lukas moves back, and has to step forward to catch Philip before he falls to the floor.

Philip would blush, but most of his blood supply is down south, and he knows that Lukas knows about that. They’d been pressed pretty close together, and Philip also knew that he wasn’t the only one.

Lukas laughs. “Made you weak in the knees?”

“Shut up,” Philip says halfheartedly trying and failing to get out of Lukas’ hold once again.

“Make me,” Lukas says smiling brightly.

Philip stops trying to get away and wraps his arms around Lukas’ shoulders. He presses a chaste kiss to Lukas’ lips.

He goes to deepen the kiss, but Lukas pulls away. “Wait.”

Philip bites his lip on a smile as he pulls away, and this time Lukas lets him.

He manages to stay on his own feet, and gives Lukas a look. “Not like this?”

Lukas rolls his eyes, “I want to do this right, for both of us.”

Philip’s eyes soften, “You’re such a romantic.”

Lukas pushes him back, and then pulls him back in wrapping his arms loosely around Philip.

“I just want it to be right.”

“It’s just sex,” Philip says. “And everyone always says the first time sucks.”

“I don’t want that for us,” Lukas mutters. “It’s going to be perfect, and right, and when the time is right.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re not ready?” Philip teases wrapping his arms around Lukas' shoulders.

“I’m saying that outside, in open space, with no comfortable place to lie on, and anyone being able to drive up and see us is not the right place for anyone to have sex for the first time.”

“It’s okay if you’re not ready,” Philip says instead of any other sappy shit that’s in his head at the moment.

Lukas rolls his eyes and then pushes Philip against the tree again, pressing all along his front hard, hips pressed tightly together.

Philip’s breath hitches and he can feel just how hard Lukas is against him.

“I’m more than ready,” he whispers tipping Philip’s head back, and brushing his thumb across Philip’s mouth. “I just want it to be amazing for us.”

Philip’s mouth parts and he licks against Lukas’ thumb.

Lukas’ eyes shudder close.

“Okay, whatever you say,” Philip whispers. “Sap.”

Lukas gives him a look, and then pushes his face to the side, and presses kiss right behind his ear making Philip shudder. “You’re sappier than both of us.”

Philip decidedly doesn’t think about the playlist he’s made of all the songs that make him think of Lukas.

Philip pushes him back, and Lukas laughs.

Philip feels as though his feet are barely touching the ground, but they’ve both got to come down some time.

“Helen and Gabe are waiting for me,” he says as gently as he can.

Lukas’ face shuts down. “Yeah, so is my dad.”

“Hey,” Philip says stepping closer and putting a hand to Lukas’ cheek. “It’s gonna be fine, okay?”

Lukas gives him a look, “You don’t know my dad.”

“Well, if anything happens, just call me, and I’ll get Helen over there like that,” and he snaps his fingers.

Lukas gives him a half smile, but pulls away from him.

Philip is having none of this, so he steps in closer and kisses Lukas.

Lukas wraps his arms around him, and tilts Philip's head back kissing him back intensely.

They pull away, and Philip really doesn’t want to not be kissing Lukas right now, but he knows exactly where it’s going to lead if they continue the way that they are going.

“We have to go,” he whispers. “Before…”

Lukas kisses the words out of his mouth, sharp and fast, teeth nicking against his bottom lip before he’s pulling away and running towards his bike.

“I’ll text you,” he calls back, and Philip watches him get on his motorbike and drive away.

Philip presses his fingers against his mouth, and smiles to himself, before running to his own bike and heading home.

 

*

 

Philip doesn’t really _notice_ Lukas until the end of his first week in Tivoli.

He’s already come to terms with the fact that he won’t be making friends here, just like back at home.

Tommy talks to him during their photography elective, but not any other time which makes him an acquaintance at best, but when Gabe asks he tells him that he’s made a friend, so that he stops giving Philip that worried look.

Lukas is hard not to notice in an objective way.

He’s more often than not the center of attention, with his bleached blond hair to match his blue eyes, and the way that people flock around him even though he seems to not say a word. He’s the popular kid, the one that gets away with murder in class, the one who doesn’t apologize when he bumps into someone. Something that Philip experienced firsthand on the first day of school when he was looking for the office.

Lukas had shouldered Philip, almost making him fall back against the lockers, but didn’t even stop in his stride.

“Excuse you,” Philip calls out really sarcastically after him not turning around to see if he even heard. He did hear an accompanying laugh, so he supposed that Lukas made some comment about him, but Philip didn’t care.

That’s as far as their interactions go, and for that Philip is grateful.

Lukas seems to be very fake, like he’s hiding something. And Philip doesn't like involving himself with people like that.

It’s during lunch, and Philip is eating by himself at the table apparently reserved for those in the not-cool clubs. Tommy sits on one corner eating with his girlfriend, and ignores Philip’s nod in his direction, which Philip was expecting.

Philip sits on the edge, not near anyone. He eats his food, with his earphones in usually, but he’d left them at Helen and Gabe’s this morning. So he’s left scrolling through his phone looking at photography blogs while he eats whatever the cafeteria decided was lunch that afternoon.

A laugh cuts through the chatter of the cafeteria, and grabs Philip’s attention.

Philip looks up, like some others are, and sees Lukas.

His head is tipped back, and he’s laughing, a happy, carefree sound that makes the pit of Philip’s stomach clench.

Philip continues to stare as Lukas stops laughing, but the grin is still stretched across his face, and it’s realer than anything that Philip has seen on his face.

His fingers itch for his camera.

Whoa, he thinks almost in awe, and then Lukas’ eyes snap to him as though he felt Philip still watching him, and Philip immediately looks away.

He can feel the blood pounding hard through his veins, his heart working overdrive, and he suddenly wants to find out if Lukas’ smile tastes the same as it looks, like sunshine.

He shakes his head, trying to dispel the thoughts of awe, and want because that is something that is never going to happen.

He sticks his phone into his jacket pocket, and picks up his uneaten lunch and leaves the cafeteria trying to forget all about Lukas Waldenbeck’s laugh.

 

the end.


End file.
